Top 5 types of EDH-players

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Compared to other “nerdy” games, Magic is a very social activity. The most social experience of all is probably a game of EDH – some times it’s the best thing one can do to spend an evening, and other times it’s tedious and arduous work before a game is finished. A lot of the times, the experience is heavily based on the group one is playing in. This list will help you traverse the jungle that is your local game store and find proper people to play EDH with.

decreeofannihilation.hq5: The griefer. Is everyone in your group and their respective moms playing ramp? Chances are this dude will bring mass-land destruction. Griefers are present in all games, and come of all sizes, shapes and forms, and as long as there’s a format dedicated to casual play, there will always be griefy spikes to take advantage of the situation by netdecking broken lists. EDH is inherently an extremely broken format, and it’s fine to play the format’s worst offenders as long as the entire playgroup is okay with having all of their lands blown up by an almost uncounterable effect (I guess some just simply don’t want to play Magic). I understand the spikyness of it all, I love playing tournaments, and I especially love winning, but EDH is not the place for that, at least not in most groups. Griefers are those whose bar is set way higher than everyone else’s, and they turn games to bad experiences for everyone but themselves. Beware.

solring.hq4: The poor student. Everyone knows EDH can be a very expensive format, if a person chooses to. Playing a multicolour general with all the proper fetchlands and dual lands will set you back several hundred dollars, and while it’s not exactly necessary to enjoy the format, there are certainly cutthroat groups where these expensive staples are needed to compete. Then there’s this guy – the poor student. Having little disposable income, this player will scratch together whatever he or she can get a hold of in order to play and enjoy the format. Revised Sol Rings, leftovers from the Commander preconstructed decks, random prerelease foils and other solutions are common sightings in these decks. Invite these guys to your game, they’re just there for the fun of it, just like you are, hopefully. And don’t judge them if they have dirty sleeves.

sylvanlibrary.full3: The pimp. On the opposite side of the spectrum from the poor student is the pimp. Where the poor student has Revised Sol Rings and Battlefield Forges, the pimp has beta Sol Rings and beta Plateaus. Lots of foils, some signed things, very rare exclusive printings of some cards – and perhaps even a Portal Three Kingdoms general for the deck. Though I despise the term “pimp” both for describing rare cards and the players who collect them, one can not help admiring the tenacity it takes to get these decks together. On a really high level, it’s not really about the money anymore – these players obviously have more disposable income than others, but more often it’s about actually locating a particular card of a particular printing, and the scarcity might be more of a hinderance than the price tag. Whenever you spot one of these at the table, don’t be fooled by the bling that they got – they’re still Jenny from the block, and they might still be terrible at the game, but before all they are obviously enthusiastic about it.

phelddagrif.hq2: The group hug guy. This isn’t, as one might, the polar opposite of a griefer. The group hug guy can still grief like there’s no tomorrow, but he tends to do it in certain ways – by combining Phyrexian Tyranny with Nekusar, the Mindrazer and Howling Mine, for example. There are also those types of group hug guys that play Phelddagrif decks that prolongs the game through helping the players that are far behind. Then there are also those that want to place arbitrary rules on the game, such as “let’s not attack for the first five turns, okay?” which may at the end of the day not contribute to the game getting better – just longer. Be cautious around these guys, sometimes they are great allies around the table, and sometimes they are the scourge that needs to be eliminated. I’m looking straight at you, Nekusar.

loreseeker.full1: The lore master. There are those that would build the best possible decks out of the card pool available to them. There are those that would build the best deck possible around a certain theme, such as  a tribe. There are those that would build pet decks only with cards by a certain artist. Then there are those that perhaps care a bit too much about the Magic lore – refusing to play more than one of each Planeswalker type in the deck, refusing to play cards with Phyrexian watermarks or watermarks of rival clans or guilds. Magic isn’t a game famous for having a stellar storyline, but I suppose it’s an… acquired taste. These aren’t as common in Magic as they are in certain other games, but they are there for sure, and it’s more common to be aware of the Magic storyline these days when it’s more available through the internet rather than random (often quite terrible) novels. Feel free to play with these guys, but Spell Crumple their shit if they start to lecture.

Are you offended by the list? Tell me I’m a jerk in the comments!

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3 Comments

  1. psykopatmullvad

     /  October 14, 2014

    You are a jerk!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Grim Lavamancer

     /  October 14, 2014

    You’re such a jerk, Purgatog!
    Nah, you’re not (well you are, but I like you anyway).

    But you left out my personal favoite – the Timmy. EDH is an excellent format for all the Timmies out there, and when it comes to EDH, I’ll gladly put myself in that category. One of the reasons I like EDH so much is that it allows me to do so many things made out of pure awesomeness that the “real” formats would never allow me to do. It doesn’t matter if it’s playing multiple hasted wurms with Crush of Wurms, or really mauling someone’s face with a double strike, bloodrushed Kamahl, Pit Figther. Heck, I even like it when my opponents manage to best me using some over the top, so awesome it’s insane, kind of strategy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • It’s true that being a Timmy is a certain way of playing EDH, which is true for Johnny and Spike as well, but I like to think that these player archetypes transcends the top 5 above. You can be a Timmy poor student, for example, or a Timmy pimp. Spike is probably the one tied down the most to the griefer above, but the other two could very well be of any type of player above.

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